I'm "home alone" for the first time in 25 years!! How the hell did I let that happen ? Really, I can't remember the last time I had more than an evening to myself! The boys are in Cancun and I am not. I suppose I could have juggled things so that I could go, but I was morbidly curious about how it would feel to spend time in my own company??? Actually, it's not too bad, bit boring but has potential! I joined the gym and cleaned the car and did some yard work and cleaned the house from top to bottom and washed all the beds and ate a family size bag of liquorice allsorts and a bag of maltesers. I'm working my way through a large bottle of wine and tonight I'm watching the Dead Like Me movie. I might have a bath, I might not. (don't really want to make it dirty!) I made myself a healthy dinner and healthy lunch for tomorrow and wrote a story. So far, so good. Can't help feeling that I'm missing out though, specially since the boys wrote and said they are "having the best time ever in Paradise"!) Somehow folded corners on the toilet rolls and no floors to sweep don't seem so much fun :0(

It's not as scary as I thought it would be, though. As long as I don't allow myself to watch Ghost Hunters or Paranormal State I am doing OK. Just wish it was as relaxing as I imagined though!! I haven't been able to sleep well so far .  In between the hot flashes I realise I miss hubby's body heat. It's a case of bed socks on, bedsocks off blankies on blankies off... I wake up feeling like I've just gone to bed. Hopefully I'll figure this out just in time for the return of the "men"! The other thing I'm having a problem with is ME! I never realised how BORING I am!!! Honestly, I'd have a conversation with myself but I've got nothing to talk about! HuH, who knew! Thank God for TV! I did take out my meditation CD's, maybe I'll give them a whirl, or maybe I could eat something. Heck, maybe I could eat AS I meditate!? It's my vacation too!! 

 I'm sort of reluctant to admit it, but hubby was right when he said "you'll miss us as soon as we're gone!" Bugger!!! I hate it when he's sorta right! What's that song "you don't know what you've got till its gone..."? So true!!! Funny, when my other half is working overnight or for a full weekend, I can't say I REALLY miss him (don't tell him that!) but I'd only just returned from the airport, put on an Aaron Neville CD and started my bedmaking and all of a sudden I was filled with this nostalgic "urge" to see his dimply smile (not the hairy faced, grumpy visage I've taken for granted for the past 12 years,) but the "oh so cute, he's SO French grin that won me over the minute I opened the door on our first date and saw him leaning there in his fringed, Davy Crocket jacket " smile that everyday life seems to have pushed to the back closet of my memory. It's nice, that feeling, I'd sort of forgotten it and I'm looking forward to missing him some more this week because of it! Isn't life funny??? Oops! now I need to pee but I don't want to have to disturb the pointy edged toilet roll???? Aaaaagh, I wish they'd hurry home so I can get back to my slovenly ways!

STICKERS!!

I was watching a little kid the other day. He had just come out of his music class and was choosing 2 stickers from the teacher because he had done "good work". He spent ages choosing the shiniest ones and I found myself slightly envious! I want stickers! I work hard and don't often have anyone saying "Well Done" or "You rock!..... How about "great job on the packed lunches today" or  "Squeegee Queen" when I scrape all the soap scum off the shower? Oh, I can think of a thousand....."2000 toilet rolls changed this year" or "10/10 for sock matching". And what about outside of the house?? What I wouldn't give to have a roll of stickers to hand out for all those times people annoy me such as  "Gross Pig"  -the guy who hocks a loogy -(spits a jelly one) - just as I'm passing by? or "Nose Picker of the Year!" shoved through the window of the car next to me at the traffic lights, with the driver who is so intent on digging for gold that he doesn't notice the lights have changed! Maybe "Ignorant B...ard!" for the guy who farts next to you in the line up at Save-on-Foods, or "Spoilt Little Rich B..ch" for the West van Tweenie with her own Starbucks card and I-Phone who pushes in front of you at the coffee shop, who thinks it's nothing to pay $5.49 for a large, extra foam, non-fat Mocha Latte which she will take one sip of and declare loudly to be "totally gross!" One sticker I just HAVE to have will say "I value my Universe as much as I value my Body" for the hundreds of slobs who think it is OK to dump their half eaten crap on the side walk after a grease binge!

On a brighter side, wouldn't it be fun to hand out "You've made my day" stickers to people who take the time to open doors for you or let you go ahead at the market because you only have one item. What about "I don't know you but you look like a nice person" to the lady or gent who smiles and says "good morning" as you pass. Maybe a "I'm a responsible dog owner"sticker to the people who pooper scoop at the doggy park or "Great Parenting Skills" to the lady in the movie cinema who makes her kids sit down and stop talking as soon as the movie starts. And talking of movies, I'd LOVE to have a roll of "I've got a Huge Melon" stickers to plaster on the cranially challenged individuals who seem to follow me from theatre to theatre and wait until I've found the perfect seat before plopping down in the seat right in front of me, causing me to spend the entire movie half lifted on my hands and bending to the left or right (depending which side they have their popcorn on) until my neck feels as though I've been on the roller coaster at Playland!

Anyway, I'm sure you could add your own to this list. It's actually fun and there are no rules. Finally, the one I've always wanted to have printed is actually a bumper sticker (aimed at the car drivers who insist on tailgating just because you refuse to travel more than 20 over the speed limit.) This sticker would read "YOU ARE SO FAR UP MY JACKSY I HOPE YOU ARE WEARING A CONDOM!!!!      Crude but effective I like to think!

So, we had Saturday night all to ourselves! Junior had been invited to a sleepover and it seemed foolish not to take advantage of the free babysitter situation on offer.Tempting as it was to put on my p.j's and snuggle up for a movie, I had to remind myself that I'm not retired yet. So I made an effort, dragged my lazy butt off the sofa, pulled on a new sweater, squirted some perfume and off we trotted to the pub. It was D.J night at the Raven, and after half a jug of beer and a few slices of tiger prawn pizza the evening started to take on  quite a romantic slant. We held hands and talked about life, laughed and listened to the music. The evening ticked by and we got a little smoochy, a little like teenagers on a first date! Wow, why don't we do this more often?? we wondered. All too soon, it was late and we started thinking about heading home. Hubby paid the bill and I prepared to gather up my things (gloves, umbrella, scarf, bag, coat, glasses, pen.... jeez!!! what is WRONG with me??why can't I take a chance like a normal person?) I looked up, hubby WAS GONE! What The...! Now don't get me wrong, I'm a very independent person, I can wallpaper a ceiling for crying out loud! But being abandoned in a full public house after a (I thought) glowingly romantic evening didn't sit well with me. I was really put out! I found JP waiting outside in the car park. 'Where did you go??" I asked. "You just left me!" I whined "I just looked round and you where gone!!"

"what's the problem, you knew it was time to go" he explained. "Yes, but you didn't even help me with my coat, you left me standing there like an idiot..." He didn't get it, why was I upset? He doesn't usually put my coat on for me, I am quite capable of getting dressed by myself... But I was upset, maybe it was the beer messing with my hormones but I expected to be treated like a date, I felt like a date, I smelt like a date and I sure as hell didn't appreciate being left in a crowded pub as if I'd been dumped!! By now we were walking back towards home and JP tried to take my hand. I don't think so matey!! Not until you apologize and beg my forgiveness you blithering eejit. Boy was I mad. I'd bore him a child for cripes sake! The least he could do was treat me like a princess in full view of the other pub patrons. He got all huffy and we walked side by side instead of arm in arm. He was not worthy of holding my hand! I already had my ammo ready for the bedroom scene later. It included the use of phrases such as " You have to be kidding!!!' "you've got some nerve" "not tonite Josephine..." and " I might have said Yes if you'd helped me on with my coat!!". (ouch, that'd show him!!). 

" I don't know why you're mad" he huffed, " It's not a big deal". 

Not a big deal, not a big deal! " We're not students you know, we're not 12 years old...you should know by now how to treat your woman, and that's the thing. I'm not one of the boys and I don't expect to be treated like one. I mean, did you forget that I'm a woman!!!?"

That's when he stopped and looked at me sheepishly with a stupid grin on his face. " No, Sue, to be totally honest, I am a bit drunk. I didn't forget that you were a woman at all. Actually, I forgot that you were there!!!" And that is when we both fell about laughing and laughed our way home. I was still chuckling when I got into bed. nite nite!